Are You Holding Your Relationship Hostage??

I was researching effective ways to communicate with your spouse when I came across this article, which is one of the most prolific articles I've ever read. A man said after five years of controlling his wife and criticizing everything she did his marriage healed the night he said "I'm sorry". He said he never allowed his wife the right to complain without paying a huge price, and this destroyed their intimacy. Now he has learned that nothing makes his wife feel more secure than being a selfless, sensitive, verbally affectionate husband who is the leader in spirituality, romance, finance, and children. His advice: Create a safe atmosphere for your spouse to be real. The safest place for her to discuss her problems should be with you. Never use anything your spouse tells you in confidentiality against her, ie divulge it or use it against her in an argument because she'll never open up to you again. Never reject your spouse, rejection is the worst emotion a human being can feel and she will make it her life mission to be sure you feel her pain. Men would much rather spend time with their spouse if they're having fun. If you're not meeting your spouse's needs today she won't be optimistic about your future and you won't get the best out of her if she is insecure about her future. Security for a woman is when her man is attached, connected, committed, and sacrifices to meet her needs. Remember to speak each other's language and LOVE is THE best feeling any human being can feel. He also states during his pre-marital counseling sessions many couples decided not to move forward with the wedding after having them fill out an extensive pre-marital questionnaire realizing they were extremely incompatible. He wasn't surprised because nowadays many couples on the verge of marriage focus more on planning the wedding of their dreams instead of asking real questions such as where they will live, how many kids they want, who will be in charge of the finances, who makes the final decisions, etc. According to research from the University of Washington who has a 93% accuracy, the number one predictor of divorce is criticism. Keep in mind sometimes we carry around emotional pre-existing baggage that if not addressed can also be a number one predictor of divorce. This is a pastor who has turned his marriage around, is best friends with his wife and has "the greatest relationship" because he "was beaten up pretty badly" trying to reject the inherited differences between men and women. He is one of the best marriage counselors to date. WOW! Great advice! As I was reading this article I thought to myself wow, after five years of destroying his marriage by never apologizing when he was wrong, criticizing his wife, and making her pay a huge price for complaining, he was holding his relationship hostage. All the love he is now experiencing is because he learned (the hard way), that if he wants the sweetness of marriage it behooved him to learn how to effectively communicate love to his wife. Effectively communicating love to your spouse means you must become humble, very humble. You must be quiet, listen, analyze, and find out who your spouse is and how she communicates love to you. In Lyn Hunt's book Communication in a Relationship, she explains that effective communication is at the heart of all great relationships and gives some of the best top tips on how to build a loving relationship through your mate's communication style. Only if we can get all couples to see how important it is for them to learn this skill to have more love, want to spend more time with each other and have all their friends telling them how much they're glowing because their relationships is just that great! No two people think the same so in a marriage it is important to remember that you are always learning your spouse who is a growing adult and constantly changing. If you do not grow with your spouse and learn her communication style you will be at the bad end of a frustrated wife who feels unappreciated and like her husband doesn't get her. This pastor has "mastered" his wife's language so he knows how to get the best out of her which encouraged her to master his language so she can get the best out of him. Now, because this couple makes it a priority to effectively communicate love to each other in their language, they have reached a joyful place in their marriage where they genuinely love and appreciate one another. Stay tuned for an extensive pre-marital questionnaire to find out if your husband/wife to be is the best fit for you. Good Luck and may your marriage be filled with joy, blessings, peace, happiness, prosperity, and longevity. For a chance to win free advertisement on The Hujrah Wahhaj Show like my page  here.

"Do more than exist, live. Do more than touch, feel. Do more than look, observe. Do more than read, absorb. Do more than hear, listen. Do more than listen, understand. Do more than think, ponder. Do more than talk, say something." -John H. Rhodes

I was on a morning conference call, when a listener chimed in and said this
"I was at a self development seminar and this great motivational speaker was giving this incredible speech. He told us to raise our hands, so each of us in the audience raised our hands. He then said No, I want you guys to stand up and raise your hands excitedly, jump up and down and have fun and really really raise your hands. The audience did just that, got out of their seats and raised their hands with enthusiasm. And in the course of that, the speaker said "Now, Why is it that someone else has to tell you to do your best? Do your best the first time, because sometimes that's all you get".

WOW! This REALLY spoke to me! Why do we seek permission to our best? Why are we an apporoval seeking nation? Why not be a leader, trendsetter, a fulfilled soul living with passion to carryout his mission?

 I felt obliged to share this with you because I remember when I was once a confused, doubtful, soul seeking approval and acceptance. Now, I can't stop looking for new, fresh ideas that set me apart from everyone else! The best person you can be is you! Are you a follower or leader?

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Snippet of My Talk Show

Peace and Greetings!

I pray you are at your absolute best! I remember a time in my life when all I could see was all the things that were wrong in my life. This was a time when all I can do was wish and hope for something new and different; a different type of life. With lots of prayer, purifying my intentions, courage, determination, and faith, The Creator has blessed me to accomplish many of my Visions! All Praises are due to Him.

I have been so incredibly busy. I am extremely grateful for all the wonderful opportunities that have been opening up for me and I promise to do better updating you through this blog. Like my page here for a free chance to win advertisement on my show!

So with that said, I will attempt to catch you up with all my endeavors! Here's a snippet from the debut of my T.v. talk show, The Hujrah Wahhaj Show. Enjoy! Love you!


Click Here To View The Show.

My Speech in L.A.

What an amazing time I had in L.A. with my dad. I had no idea that living my passion would be this fun! I was born to do this and I am so Grateful to The Creator for choosing me to do this work!

This is the speech I did at The Seerah Council in Los Angeles, Ca. Enjoy!

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I Just Don't Care

I just don’t care. Why do we procrastinate? What it is about that to do list that makes us wait to the very last minute? Why do the majority of people procrastinate? The number one reason is simply because we don’t care. We’re not excited about the task or goal at hand. We’re not excited enough about it to lose sleep over or jump out of our bed. Life is happening to us and we’re just reluctantly going along. Now don’t get me wrong, there are everyday mundane things we must do that won’t excite us like ironing clothes or studying for an upcoming exam. However, if we simply change the meaning we attach to the goal (ie, give your goals a meaning you care about) you will do it more excitingly and live life with more juice. Reasons For Procrastinating: Ironing clothes is boring but if you’re launching a major project that you’ve worked so hard on, or you’re about to catch a flight to a Hawaiian vacation you’ve been looking forward to all year, ironing clothes will be a total different experience. Studying for an exam on a subject that intrigues you so much you won’t want to put the textbook down will deliver a different experience than studying some boring required subject you’ll probably never use again. It’s the experiences we live and work for. The bottom line is most of us are not living a life with juice. We stagnate, drag, and barely make it through the day because we just don’t care about what we’re doing. We find that we must do what needs to get done, reluctantly and our experiences are joyless and for some, full of regret. Two more common reasons we procrastinate are fear and a lack of knowledge of how to get “there.” As for fear, everyone at some point in their lives face fear. Whether it's fear of success or failure the secret is the top successful people has figured out a way, or paid someone, to show them how to move in spite of fear. That’s it. That’s the big mystery solved. The fear you have of failure, success, or the unknown never truly dissipates. You just need to learn how to manage it well enough so that it does not stop you or your visions, and certainly not your mission. As for not knowing how to get “there”, I’d like to propose a question. If I asked you the quickest way to get to Egypt and you’ve never been there could you give me an accurate answer? Of course not. Guessing would be a waste of time so the best thing to do is to equip yourself with a map or compass ie, people with experience such as mentors, life coaches, or guidance counselors, parents, or friends that will hold you accountable for your actions and encourage you to propel forward regardless of what your circumstances look like today. The bottom line is you have to live for yourself. You must decide to walk down your path. Find true meaning and purpose for your life and goals, purify your intentions, equip yourself with a good map and proper guidance, take action today even if it's just a step, and surround yourself with people who will hold you accountable when you need it the most and cheer you on until the end! Life will begin to look different for you as it has for so many people before you struggling through the same test and you will find that you will begin accomplishing goals way before they are almost due! Procrastination is the anti-Best You! For more inspiring articles subscribe to my FREE newsletter at Hujrahwahhaj.com and be sure to like The Hujrah Wahhaj T.V. Show's fanpage at https://www.facebook.com/hujrahwahhajshow

What is it about her that when she enters a room it seems as if she brings the Sunlight with her? It’s something about her that’s unique, refreshing and almost mesmerizing. She leaves people around her in awe and good wherever she goes. She is a powerful and influential woman and here are her traits. 1) She resides in love. Love is the foundation holding the bricks of her world together. She genuinely loves people. She makes everyone feel great and special because she sees their light, potential and role in the bigger scheme of life. She goes out of her way to project love for humanity organically and this synergy fuels her allowing her to give even more of herself. She is a portal of love and uses it to heal wounds and inspire new life. 2) Her wisdom reaches way beyond her years. Because she loves new information and is constantly looking for inspiration she absorbs everything she learns and regurgitates it almost immediately after receiving it. It’s very important she plays her role in making sure the world around her is equipped with powerful tools to become the absolute best they can. She teaches and everyone listens because her passion for helping others transcends all that she does. 3) Her optimism is one to be desired. People are drawn to her positive disposition which is infectious. She has the ability to instantly transform people’s emotional state by showing them alternate routes to handle their situations. She leaves others with a new found hope by empowering them with a sense of choice and determination. She has an “I can do it” and “you can do it too” attitude regardless of circumstances and people love that about her. 4) Time is of the essence. She’s on the go. You rarely find her just lounging around twiddling her thumbs because she knows there’s always room for improvement, investment, and achievement. She has no patience for time wasters and encourages better time management for herself and others. 5) She’s charismatic by nature. There are many components about her that stand out which make it hard for people to determine what it is about her that draws them in. She has an inner light that glows and grows and inspires the inner light in others to follow suit. Vibrant, for no one reason, people become like moths flocking to the light. 6) She does not think twice about helping. She’s an opportunist when it comes to piling up good deeds. She doesn’t know what deed will be the deed that lands her the ultimate reward of gaining honor from the Creator above. She knows He’s always watching and helping others is a sure way that will lead her closer to His love and her success. If she can do it’s no question that she will. Helping is as sentimental as a baby. 7) She accepts her flaws making it easy to accept others, so forgiveness is a very natural trait. She feels very good forgiving people because she knows with conviction that Mercy is destined for those who show Mercy. She runs to forgive others and when she struggles to forgive, it’s because she’s low on her spirituality barometer. Harsh and unforgiving people is one her pet peeves. 8) The Final trait of powerful and influential women is her humility. She lives in her power and accepts the role she has to play but she knows without a shadow of a doubt if she ever for once think that everything in her life is attributed to her and not God, she is destined to be doomed. She makes sure she keeps herself humble by praising The creator much and by not letting her blessings inflate her head. It is her humility that makes her even more influential because in essence she’s just a vessel of love, help, healing, and inspiring. The root of her joy, success, life is God and she never wants to take false credit. It’s Him helping her to do His healing and she’s grateful to be apart of it! May you have better traits than this and May your world be full or purpose joy and light. For more FREE inspiring articles visit my website at http://hujrahwahhaj.com/ and https://www.facebook.com/hujrahwahhajshow.

Photo Recap of some of what I've been up to.